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Designing My Life:
Thank you, Kyle Shevlin
Thanks to the wonders of the Internet, I have found some good folks. Not all of them I agree with constantly, but I have more who are willing to show, and live, their beliefs. One of these folk found this book, and offered to share insights on his life, as well as give feedback on what others shared. Working remotely, he is in a sandwich-like situation: I’m not fool enough to turn down an outside view! Believing that view, however, is a personal challenge.
The book starts off with the history of the 'system', and a brief look at the author's lives. They do throw in some 'real' situations (I presume simplified for both anonymity and ease of examples) which show how this technique can work. Which is nice- it gives you a feel for the style of writing before you get into the more-personal items. And they can become quickly personal, if allowed.
The first chapter is mostly about finding the baseline for where you are in your life. They break it down into four sections: Love, Play, Work, and as the base item - Health. This feels skimpy- there are so many sections of my life that cross these boundaries that it looks like a Venn diagram done on a plate of spaghetti. Is taking care of family matters work - or love? And how about private time just for thinking - where would that fall? I certainly don't know the answers for you, but for me, this required hours of thought. My life is such a tangle of all of these that finding bounds for them was a tough task.
As, so far, is the 'shadow' side of my life - the things that I don't often air publicly. One example - love (in most of its forms) is complicated by past abuse - and it is work to trust enough to let someone get closer than casual friend. I'm sure that, looking at all of the definitions that are given, that you might find some conflicts that require a bit of thought as to where they actually fall, for you.
There is no 'official' ranking for the quality of each section - how much you do, yes - but nothing for how content you are with what you are doing. I've put them both on a 1-10 scale, and will list the weekly score at the end of each section.
The book starts off with the history of the 'system', and a brief look at the author's lives. They do throw in some 'real' situations (I presume simplified for both anonymity and ease of examples) which show how this technique can work. Which is nice- it gives you a feel for the style of writing before you get into the more-personal items. And they can become quickly personal, if allowed.
The first chapter is mostly about finding the baseline for where you are in your life. They break it down into four sections: Love, Play, Work, and as the base item - Health. This feels skimpy- there are so many sections of my life that cross these boundaries that it looks like a Venn diagram done on a plate of spaghetti. Is taking care of family matters work - or love? And how about private time just for thinking - where would that fall? I certainly don't know the answers for you, but for me, this required hours of thought. My life is such a tangle of all of these that finding bounds for them was a tough task.
As, so far, is the 'shadow' side of my life - the things that I don't often air publicly. One example - love (in most of its forms) is complicated by past abuse - and it is work to trust enough to let someone get closer than casual friend. I'm sure that, looking at all of the definitions that are given, that you might find some conflicts that require a bit of thought as to where they actually fall, for you.
There is no 'official' ranking for the quality of each section - how much you do, yes - but nothing for how content you are with what you are doing. I've put them both on a 1-10 scale, and will list the weekly score at the end of each section.
Health:
This is the basis of the other three (I couldn't resist this gif right now).
http://gph.is/17EuKqS
Physical health, at least can be objective. I am in my 50's, and + The same size I was through most of my life
- That size is above the 'normal healthy' levels + Doctors aren't worried overmuch about it,- I don't feel attractive in general.
So, obviously, this isn't one of the higher-ranked items. From the teaser, you might have guessed I've gone back into Pokemon, specifically the Pokemon Go version. So more active (at least when the weather cooperates - even the game is encouraging you to stay inside the past couple of days), and I can notice a difference in the way clothing fits.
Mental health is an issue, and likely the one that brings this score down the most. Being unemployed is a strain on me, and on the household. Which brings stresses that normally would have been buried to the surface, and that brings on the drama.
Spiritually, things have been improving. I've carved out a time to practice - or at least start to - and now am getting many subtle hints that this is a good thing. I still need to do more - but finding a time where other obligations don't overlap is the tough part. I'm taking the 40 seconds between activities to re-focus on what I need to do, and this has helped, as well.
Scores: 2 for overall, quality is 4 - I need to do more in this area.
Work
This includes non-paid work - the authors were quick to point this out. Since this is a college/university level class, that didn't surprise me, but made me thankful. With all of the obligations here between parent and child, plus myself, trying to study, find work, and do the small projects that are paid, there is too much work, and not enough hours.
To my surprise, my knitting fell into this category. I rarely knit for myself, or something 'just for fun'. I have plans to redo some things, and finish a sample knit, but with half the year gone, it seriously looks like it will be put off another year.
Scores 10 for time-filling, 2 for quality.
Play
Since this is something I have been told over and over I have no skill in - at first, I automatically discounted it to a 0, and gave it little thought. Then, finding other things that just didn't quite fit into the other categories, I had to go back and revisit it. Taking play as 'Something you do, but don't have to, because it makes you feel better', I found this to be a rich source of comfort, once I found it.
My play, mostly, consists of assisting others to find things, or improve the quality of answers they get. The delight in finding a site that answers a question (that I have minimal knowledge of), or a dish that meets the new nutritional requirements - and will be welcomed by fussy children - makes me smile. So this is play, for me.
This does include one aspect of Pokemon that surprised me, but not really, once I thought about it - the gifts that you can give friends. Honestly, when this happened, that was my first concern - what do I get this person? Where is their delights? And finding (and convincing the system) to give me gifts from those spots has been a secret goal - now make semi-public.
Scores: 5 for overall, quality is 7 - I want more of this in my life.
Love
This one was tough, for many reasons. I have love in my life - more than I could have ever anticipated, honestly - but none of it is the romantic type. And I find that I mostly don't miss it.
Having a good friend that will listen, or watch a movie 'with' you, even if they are in another country, is a gift that I never anticipated. I have people cheering me on, and giving me ideas, and supporting all of my play and a darn large percentage of my work, plus being able to return that to them. Yes, I would like more, but having a stern look at life, and seeing what is there - I find I am blessed.
Scores: 6.5 for quantity, 8 for quality.
'Gravity' problems
This was another area that I had to think on - finding the ones that actually were issues out of my control wasn't the problem, but identifying the ones that I refused to do anything about was an eye opener. I have them now separated in my mind, and am working on accepting the ones that are too scary to change.
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